GRAYSON, OH—Speaking in a locally produced television advertisement that has aired nightly since 1994, Council Auto owner Ron Dettweiler, 61, confirmed Tuesday that every vehicle on his lot contains a federal tracking device he has been unable to remove, a defect he says is "fully reflected in the price."
"Every car on this lot has an FBI tracker we couldn't get out," Dettweiler said in the 30-second spot, gesturing at a row of sedans while an FBI agent crouched beneath one of them with a flashlight. "That's why it's zero down."
According to sales records reviewed by reporters, all 46 vehicles currently on the Route 9 lot have been under continuous federal surveillance since at least the Clinton administration. Dettweiler said the devices were present when he acquired the inventory and that several of them "fight back" when approached with pliers.
The featured vehicle in Tuesday's broadcast, a 2003 minivan with 31,000 miles, was described as a one-owner car. "Previous owner's in Guantanamo," Dettweiler said. "Low miles." An agent in the minivan's rear seat waved at the camera and was not identified.
Each purchase includes what the dealership calls a "complimentary passenger." Sales associate Brandi Kowalczyk, credited in the advertisement as Miss Zero Down, explained the program while seated on the hood of a sedan with three bullet holes in its windshield. "Every car comes with a free passenger," she said, as the passenger door swung open to reveal a federal agent eating a sandwich. The agent nodded. Kowalczyk said the passengers do not contribute to gas but are "very good about the radio."
The dealership's financing terms have drawn particular attention. "Bad credit? No credit? Wanted in four states?" Dettweiler said from a folding table on the lot, where a man in a trench coat was signing loan documents without reading them. "The CIA co-signs." A CIA spokesperson declined to say how many auto loans the agency has guaranteed nationwide, but confirmed that its approval rate is "extremely high" and that it does not run a credit check, "because we already know."
Dettweiler also highlighted the cargo capacity of a 1998 sedan, opening its trunk to reveal carpeting covered in dark, dried stains and several holes in the lid. "Trunk space," he said, before closing it. Asked what had happened in the trunk, Dettweiler said the vehicle had a clean title.
Customers appear largely satisfied. Kyle Brennecke, 24, who purchased a Civic from Council Auto in the spring, said the car had performed well apart from a single incident. "Drove my Civic to pick up some mushrooms," Brennecke said in a testimonial segment. "The DEA guy in my trunk bought an eighth." A thumb protruding from the trunk gap was visible behind him. Brennecke said he has not been charged, and that the agent has since referred two friends.
Legal experts note that vehicle tracking is not new. Buy-here-pay-here dealers routinely install GPS units and remote starter-interrupt devices in the cars they finance, and in 2012 the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in United States v. Jones that police attaching a GPS tracker to a suspect's car counts as a search. "The only unusual thing here is that he put it in the commercial," said one consumer attorney, who asked not to be named because she was "pretty sure they're listening."
The advertisement closes with a warning. "And don't try to pull the tracker out yourself," Dettweiler said, as, directly behind him, a customer who had begun removing a wire from an engine bay was tackled onto the hood by three agents who exited a black SUV at speed. Dettweiler did not turn around.
At press time, Council Auto had extended its fall sales event through November and reminded customers that all vehicles come with a lifetime warranty, the length of which will be determined by the federal government.
"Council Auto," Dettweiler said. "We don't track you. They do."

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